I love watching my boys have fun. I sometimes will watch them from a vantage point from which they cannot see me seeing them. They just don’t seem to ever say anything quietly or half happy about it. Every conversation is a drama that unfolds as they tell it. The other day, Peter came running in to tell me about the snake that had been outside. By the time he got done describing it, I’m pretty certain that we actually had a seventeen foot long dragon.
But that’s ok. Its name was Stephen.
The kids are really into music right now. Our church has begun to really love the song “Surrounded,” which is a really simple song whose lyrics are confined to “This is how I fight my battles” and “It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by You.”
The kids actually sang that song for about ten minutes straight in the van the other day and it was glorious.
Leo, however, does not initiate any music. I tried to play him some of his regulars the other day going into the hospital. I would look back and he would give a nonchalant shake of the head.
I then remembered his favorite song a while back. “Untraveled Road” by TFK. It’s loud and driving rock. I turned it on and he began to very steadily bob his head to the beat. By the time the song was done, Lammy was dancing all around the middle of the van.
He’s beginning to limp a little.
I’m trying to be ok with it, but my imagination sometimes tries to say other stuff is happening. He doesn’t complain about pain. He just walks differently. He sees a physical therapist now who is giving him specific strength building exercises to counteract the agility loss.
I just don’t want him to lose the ability to walk.
Walk, run, bike, crawl, whatever it is, he is walking this road with his family. With a large family.
I am bewildered and beyond that we are close to my parents and three of my four sisters. My family is really stinking cool. And I belong to them. I see them see my wife for the incredible woman she is. I see them love my children without reservation as family. I see them see Leo. They see the real Leo. They don’t look at his cancer. They look at his smile that says he’s up to something incredible. They look at his inability to say “no” to a hotdog, cuz he’s four. They look at his overzealous “wow” face and know that’s someone you want to show “wow” things to. They love well and I’m beyond blessed to be near them.