We’re here about to transition fully from pic to port. One more time with the torture of ripping off tape and bandaid. One more time working with the “spaghettis.”
During this blast week, we check in and wait for them to mix the chemo drugs downstairs. So we check in and then wait for about an hour. Last time I didn’t understand where we would spend our time. So I kept promising they could watch a show once we were settled.
They are now watching “Trolls” on my iPad. Only people in the room so it works. It’s quiet. We’re together. The little conversations are precious, quiet, and intimate. They are physically so different. But they are unmistakably family.
We cleaned and then dance partied this morning. This afternoon we celebrate the next breath of life we draw as family. We draw it together.
On the way here the boys rolled their windows down. I looked through the rear view and saw Leo’s little fingers running through the breeze that filtered past his skin out the window. I let my hand out through my window and enjoyed it too.
“Man is but a vapor. A breath, here today and gone tomorrow.”
The nooma of our lives has been streaming past us and it is pure joy to have my heart held to the breeze and to take in the potent, beautiful, calming, and cool caress of the enjoyment of life. Six lives. A hundred thousand all interconnected. I have never felt so complete in community in my life. I have never felt so far away from loneliness.
I feel life as it flows in, through, and past me. Unstoppable as the wind. Returning to the One who first breathed it out.