I probably don’t know you. But that doesn’t really matter. Truth is… you have given me something I didn’t earn, and can’t deserve. You have loved me. With real love.
I’m scared a lot right now. Everyone talks in uplifted voices enough that I’m looking behind everyone’s backs for another needle.
Tape and bandaids. People. Stop putting them on me, cuz taking them off is excruciating. My vocabulary isn’t big, so all I can do is cry “ow” over and over again.
When the headaches come, they make me cry and make me scared.
My tears are powerful. They can make a half dozen highly paid professionals all crowd into a room with concern on their faces and sing in chorus the “it’s ok” song.
And then they make it ok.
My tears can make my daddy stand on his head and create new knock knock jokes.
My older brother shared his courage with me.
My sister, her imagination.
My younger brother legit tried to snuggle with me through the womb yesterday when I was scared.
My mommy has found new strength at the end of her strength.
There are now hundreds of you praying for me.
Today is going to be a hard day. Docs say the hardest day. I don’t really know what’s coming. But keep on praying.
Yesterday, when mommy asked what I would dream about, I said “Jesus is gonna fight all the monsters down to the ground.”
Mommies cry about weird things.
Things will go quickly soon. But right now we wait. Right now I sleep. Right now my breathing is light and full of peace, like the monsters are already beaten and I walk by still waters. May it be.
I don’t know you. But your heart has gone out to me when mine shakes with fear. Your thoughts are with mine when mine are confused. Your prayers go up to the God who wrestles monsters and calms the storm. Who heals the sick and loves me through you. I love you too.